Tag Archives: YRUU alumnus

#59. Judy And The Journal, Part Three: And It Was Found By Judy Short

By: Devin Kira Murphy

In an alleyway on the way to church is where Sophy a youth group newbie of only 2 months found the sweat stained journal
In fact it was the same journal that Judy had accidentally dropped there only very recently during a moment of heated passion
Sophy had never seen or even heard of the journal before today, but she knew it must be of some great importance,
So she scooped up the journal off of the ground and continued on her way to church
When she got to church she promptly should the journal to all of her fellow youth group members
They were so excited because they thought it was lost for good,
They said did you know Sophy that the journal was written by 3 extraordinary former YRUU members, who’s names mean, poet, courteous and Jehovah is God
She couldn’t think of what to say in response, so she just offered to read some of it to them
They were so eager to here some of it that the youth group meeting got off to a late, late, late, start
Well it was a late, late, late, start because they would not let Sophy stop reading from the journal,
She read many of the poems including, Hank To Rudy, Hank With Ben Going Riding On A Pedal Powered Vehicle Made For Two and Ocean Was What Rudy was lost On
Well when the meeting was over Sophy accidentally left the journal on the youth group coffee table,
And It was found by Judy Short,
Well only a year later during the youth group’s next con

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#42. Judy And The Journal, Part One: The PKO (Papaya Knock Out)

By: Devin Kira Murphy & Curtis Murphy

Judy was cleaning out her locker in the dressing room in the athletic section of the youth wing of the UU congregation nestled, between Direct Subs and The Make Your Own Sup Nodal And Robotic Hair Transplant Outlet Store in The Big Brown Mall, subsequently nestled in the not so anonymous, suburb of Buffalo, New York
Underneath the nostalgia-inducing pile of fishnet stockings and catnip, she found a curious item, ensnared in one of her many garish red wigs, which embodied the smell of papaya from the regrettable fruit scare instigated by the agitated intern minister and chef at Secluded Metropolitan UU Society
She opened the shiny gray duct tape journal to the first page to fined written in black permanent marker an obviously, definitely, totally, nonsensical had to be, absolutely, completely fictional story-poem written by two previous YRUU members
The story was titled “My Post-Gathering Emotions My Devoted” It went:
“Oh wherefore
Oh wherefore are I so saddened by her absence?
Oh how come the lack of those sleep-deprived nights is bothering me?
Oh for what reason does sleep cometh?
Oh I! Oh mine! Oh wherefore!,
Oh wherefore
Oh wherefore is she as endearing as a ruminant?
Oh why does she have to resemble my cousins domestic house-faul, Lancelot?
Oh Rudy! I am pining for you I can’t abide watching the sun waxeth 40 times and waneth 39 times before I stroketh you at a more feverish tempo then before (in a not too raunchy but still stimulating way)
Oh how come
Oh how come!
Oh how come
Oh how come
Oh how come!
Oh wherefore are you text messaging Hank?
You tramp-
I can’t abide another 39 waxings and 40 wanings till I see you again
…But not with Hank
And who in blimey is Hank?

P.S. I am bringing my stroking apparatus”
Judy was miffed
She sniffed again, the papaya-wig and famed into the duct tape in seam…