Tag Archives: youth conferences

#76. I’m Judella

By: Devin Kira Murphy, Curtis Murphy & Joel Fox

I’m Judella
But you can call me Judy
That’s what she said to me
The next day I met her on the tractor
Going up the hill backwards
Yes backboards was the way I herd her speak
Guess I should’ve not played the “back words game” all night
All night I sat with Bill
We were eating six month old bagels and hommos
We were just trying to relive our time at “Danger Con”
Even at “Danger Con”, I never ever did anything like THIS!
I mean have nonsexual but still arousing fun in the woman’s washroom with only a sock poppet and Frosty The Snowperson’s cosine Crispy The Snowperson


#74. 9 On Friday…

By: Devin Kira Murphy

9 on Friday and all in a minivan
Man ant it all so vary much grand
Well that’s ’till the engine blows smoke

The engine’s blowin’ smoke so we’re pullin’ over
Everyone get out I’m callin’ a tow truck
Thank goodness this minivan is AAA roadside insured

We’ll still arrive at the con on time?
Hell no more like 6 in the mornin’
‘Cause we’re waiting for contact with a rental

Oh my rental has arrived, but something’s wrong
They have given us a Geo Metro car
We’re 7 and Geo Metro hold max 5

So I guess we’re just screwed aren’t we?
No sometimes the shack on wheels sows up
It always gets you to cons on time

And Stephen and Albert bring it to us
Yes there here to save the day again
We’ll get to the con all tied up

Tied up in hay from farmer O’Haybeard’s field
Or maybe with magic lickerish and movie certificates
Who knows how Stephen and Albert do it?

But at least we got to the con
Well with gingerbread slippers on both our feet
And hot papers growin’ out of our ears

#73. Can You Get To A Con?

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Can you get to a con while just riding on a fawn?
“No!” says Judy now a newbie youth advisor ‘cause you need to instead be a minivan rider
Can you get to a con faster then in 7 flat hours?
Not if it’s in QuOM or SLD ‘cause you might encounter showers
And yes you can get to a con before the ice breaker activities start!
Well that is if you leave from the very beginning like a speeding dart

#59. Judy And The Journal, Part Three: And It Was Found By Judy Short

By: Devin Kira Murphy

In an alleyway on the way to church is where Sophy a youth group newbie of only 2 months found the sweat stained journal
In fact it was the same journal that Judy had accidentally dropped there only very recently during a moment of heated passion
Sophy had never seen or even heard of the journal before today, but she knew it must be of some great importance,
So she scooped up the journal off of the ground and continued on her way to church
When she got to church she promptly should the journal to all of her fellow youth group members
They were so excited because they thought it was lost for good,
They said did you know Sophy that the journal was written by 3 extraordinary former YRUU members, who’s names mean, poet, courteous and Jehovah is God
She couldn’t think of what to say in response, so she just offered to read some of it to them
They were so eager to here some of it that the youth group meeting got off to a late, late, late, start
Well it was a late, late, late, start because they would not let Sophy stop reading from the journal,
She read many of the poems including, Hank To Rudy, Hank With Ben Going Riding On A Pedal Powered Vehicle Made For Two and Ocean Was What Rudy was lost On
Well when the meeting was over Sophy accidentally left the journal on the youth group coffee table,
And It was found by Judy Short,
Well only a year later during the youth group’s next con

#57. We Never Should Have Bout It Over The Internet

By: Curtis Murphy

We never should have bought it over the internet
We never should have logged on to www. shackrepair .com and bought those out-of-date fluorescent green shingles
We never should have paid by credit card for special delivery on the next business day
We should have known that they would never get here on time, because their courier was driving an old boot with a broken skateboard attached to the bottom
We should have fixed the shack ourselves using the leftover duct tape from the young adult group’s tuxedo-making-and-french-toast-grill-off event
We never should have listened to the voices in Albert’s head, even though they were right when they told us that the screaming chicken factory in Niagara Falls Ontario was a bad place to hold a con
But this time they were wrong
And now the shack is ruined
Or is it…?

#51. We Still Haven’t Located Secluded Metropolitan UU Society

By: Devin Murphy

Torn off, Pampas And Snotty Christian Church Youth Choirs Sing Memorable Unitarian Universalist Youth Conference Songs, I can’t concentrate
Ok I think we’re lost
Ok I think we’re lost
No don’t pod on, Boring Ontario Public High School Choirs Sing Memorable Unitarian Universalist Youth Conference Songs, I still can’t concentrate
We’re supposed to be at the apple lobbing competition, the one that Secluded Metropolitan UU Society is hosting, but we’re late, way late, in fact we are 3 days late
It’s all ’cause we’re lost
No don’t put on, Uncoordinated Community Choirs From PEI Sing Memorable Unitarian Universalist Youth Conference Songs either, I STILL cant concentrate
Ok I think we’re lost
Ok I think we’re lost
We still haven’t located Secluded Metropolitan UU Society
No don’t put on, Cool-Crazy Unitarian Universalist Youth Groups Sing Memorable Unitarian Universalist Youth Conference Songs…WHAT UU YOUTH GRUPS SING! THEAR OWN SONGS!?!

#48. Klara

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Meet her at a youth con
Look in her big emerald eyes
Her eyes gummy but still radiating green like traffic lights on go
She will sweep you off your feet with just one quick look
Meet her at a youth con
Touch her strands of violet hair
Her hair oily but still radiating bright light like a glow stick
She will sweep you off your feet with just one quick touch
Meet her at a youth con
Rub her very soft white skin
Her skin sweaty but still the bright white colour of precious ivory
She will sweep you off your feet with just one quick rub
Meet her at a youth con…

#41. In The Barn Room…

By: Devin Kira Murphy & Joel Fox

Judy opened the side door to the barn room at the South Peel con only to find the advisor adults congregating for backroom conversation
So she backed into the middle, interrupting their conversation as she screamed
She had just broken the con’s biggest rule that morning
It was not the no sex rule, or even the no drugs rule, nor was it the no smoking rule-and definitely not the no heavy petting rule ‘cause that’s not even a rule
Just then, Judy got hit by a foam brick
This made her angrier then before
So she took off her first shirt and threw it at the advisor who had launched the brick
He stood up
He had not thrown the brick
She had
The brick hit her again, and she saw herself walk through the door, even though she had walked through the door only minutes ago
She went straight to the mirror and looked herself HARD in her slightly bigger eye-her left eye-only to notice that she was standing in front of herself
She turned around in time to see herself get a brick in the face
She had thrown it for the first time
Herself had thrown it all the other times
The brick brought her to her knees
She was ready for a cat fight
Herself made the first move
It was unreal, she thought as herself hit her on the head with another foam brick
She knew it had begun, but what?
She was not sure…

#40. Misinformation

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Dear Clowie
We got some misinformation
We wear toled the con was in Utica, wen infant it was being held in Halifax
We thought it was kind of strange because wasn’t Utica band from holding cons for a will after the random three in the morning redecorating of their sanctuary with mas amounts of red pant and fabric which was don using caleche tec -neak at their last con
But of to Utica we went anyway
We had to vans full of people
We wear excited and raring to go, it had been far to long sins the last con
Wen we got to the border and poled up to the border garred’s booth, we wear asked to pullover
The border garred expand that he was just going to search us all
After the border garred had searched us and had fund nothing, we wear allowed to craws the border
All the way to Utica we wear unable to find any eatery that was open,
So we got hungry vary hungry
Wen we pulled up to the church, which we had some problems finding, we fund their was nothing going on and the hole places was dark,
So we called the Toronto congregation on advisor Tavish’s cell, ‘cause they always no what is going on
But we got no response,
So we waited in the Utica church parking-lot till morning,
Wen we got a call from a Halifax youth named Aaron telling us that someone must have given us some misinformation and we were supposed to be in Halifax, ‘cause the con was being held their
So we then tolled Aaron that it was to late for us to be able to get to the con before it ended and we went and got hotel rooms Us 12 youth and the two advisors we then had one great day and night in a 5 stare hotel, with in room masseurs and masseuses, in room hot-tubs, in room movies and in room delivered food
Then we went home
Your great con friend Klara

#38. When Frank First Saw Judy

By: Devin Kira Murphy

When Frank first saw Judy she was wearing only her birthday suit
When Frank first saw Judy she was running in the cold snow
When Frank first saw Judy she was having an insane laughing fit
When Frank first saw Judy she was wearing only her birthday suit
When Frank first saw Judy she was running in the cold snow
When Frank first saw Judy she was welcoming him to the Amherst con