Tag Archives: The Journal

#80. Judy And The Journal, Part Five: The Journal Made It To Unicamp

By: Devin Kira Murphy

The journal made it to Unicamp
Well to this day we still don’t know how
Was it in Judy’s bag?
Or was it whisked in by telepathy powered shack blimp?
Or was it mashed by Frank’s bar hands into a bole of almond butter and banana?

The journal made it to Unicamp
It was red by everyone and I do mean everyone including Kit’s spirit during the astral projection workshop
And some naked youth at the clothing optional beach
Yes it was even red in one of the caves by Stephen and Albert

And then, “dos anyone now where the journal is?” said Sophy
Had we lost it last night wen Harriet showed up and started steeling all our marshmallows wile we sat around the campfire singing folk songs like Joni Mitchell’s The Circle Game?
Had we…

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#61. Judy And The Journal, Part Four: Judy On The Run From Judy

By: Devin Kira Murphy

On the run
Oh away from that tall bitch
Yes hard she did hit, me

On the run
Oh she snatched away the journal
Yes from my hands, see

On the run
Oh without the famed journal book
Yes ’cause she started a fight

On the run
Oh with a big water gun
Yes that is so vary right

On the run
Oh maybe I should just hide
Yes then me she won’t tease

On the run
Oh maybe I should just hide
Yes then me she won’t seize

On the run
Oh away from that tall bitch
Yes hard she did hit, me

On the run
Oh she snatched away the journal
Yes from my hands, see

#59. Judy And The Journal, Part Three: And It Was Found By Judy Short

By: Devin Kira Murphy

In an alleyway on the way to church is where Sophy a youth group newbie of only 2 months found the sweat stained journal
In fact it was the same journal that Judy had accidentally dropped there only very recently during a moment of heated passion
Sophy had never seen or even heard of the journal before today, but she knew it must be of some great importance,
So she scooped up the journal off of the ground and continued on her way to church
When she got to church she promptly should the journal to all of her fellow youth group members
They were so excited because they thought it was lost for good,
They said did you know Sophy that the journal was written by 3 extraordinary former YRUU members, who’s names mean, poet, courteous and Jehovah is God
She couldn’t think of what to say in response, so she just offered to read some of it to them
They were so eager to here some of it that the youth group meeting got off to a late, late, late, start
Well it was a late, late, late, start because they would not let Sophy stop reading from the journal,
She read many of the poems including, Hank To Rudy, Hank With Ben Going Riding On A Pedal Powered Vehicle Made For Two and Ocean Was What Rudy was lost On
Well when the meeting was over Sophy accidentally left the journal on the youth group coffee table,
And It was found by Judy Short,
Well only a year later during the youth group’s next con

#50. Judy And The Journal, Part Two: Judy In Manly Disguise

By: Devin Murphy

Judy woke up and found the room was filling with a red ooze
She grabbed the journal, but she couldn’t find any of her garish red wigs so she crawled vigorously out the nearest window
She managed to get out into the cold rain without even getting one drop of ooze on her
But she did shatter the glass of the window as she crawled away
Once out of the room she breathed a sigh of relief ’cause she was rid of the smell of papaya
But what to do with the journal she mused as she whispered softly under her breathe, “I can’t stay in the rain and do I dare let anyone see my naturally very bald head”
She decided that she had to cover her head with something, so off to her neighbourhood wig shop, Harry Harrison’s Fine And Everyday Wig Emporium
When Judy got their she found that they were out of her preferred choice of long red wigs
So she looked to see if they had any long strawberry blond wigs but to her surprise they were out of long strawberry blond wigs and all other shades of blond, even all the other shades, lengths and types of women’s wigs
In fact they where out of all men’s wigs except one sort brown conservative looking wig with a part on the left side
So Judy bought it ’cause she was desperate
But she knew she could not let herself be seen in it
Ok she did know that she had to wear it
So what was she going to do?
Well she thought maybe I could disguise myself as a young man, ’cause after all the wig is meant for a man’s head
So after she had gone to Harry Harrison’s Fine And Everyday Wig Emporium and her local Salvation Army Thrift Store, she was looking good in a pair of definitely not baggy men’s brown and flaming yellow coloured plaid slacks, a man’s definitely vary tight flaming yellow coloured dress shirt, a man’s brown coloured suit jacket, a pair of men’s brown coloured dress socks, a pare of brown coloured dress shoes and a men’s short brown conservative looking wig with a part on the left side, she was ready to be seen
So off she went looking like a fool with the journal in hand just in time for the coffee house that her young adult group was putting on
When she got to the fellowship room of her church the one that was located in The Big Brown Mall between Direct Subs and The Make Your Own Sup Noodle And Robotic Hair Transplant Outlet Store, subsequently nestled in the not so anonymous suburb of Buffalo, she signed up to read poetry
She said hear name was Jude
None suspected a thing
She red the poem scrawled on the third page of the duct tape journal in red permanent marker It was titled “Fail Slumber, Rattail Slumber” It went:
“Myself attempted to slumber but myself received a not good, not good rattail
It went hi, hi, hi
…thud
fall, fall, fall
Slumber or no slumber
Myself was having backed doughy sweat rounds with person in yellow avian costume sought or was it with advisor of persons of not yet adult age and no longer age of child on the rocky side edge of the street with a long green latex vine vegetable?
…looking empty into universe…
…sensing symphony in mined…
Oh no! This fail slumber is administering myself not good rattail or is it not good rattail administering myself fail slumber?
Not good slumber…
Fail slumber…
Rocky side edge of the street…
Long green latex vine vegetable…
doing myself no good there better not be an outdoor cooking apparatus in the vicinity ’cause myself don’t desire outdoor cooked long green latex vine vegetable
What is that rattail doing with advisor of persons of not yet adult age and no longer age of child?
Myself believed it was my rattail
Not good slumber
Rattail slumber
Oh myself! Oh my! Oh how come!

P.S. Bring me out of rem sleep, Rudy-and, you sill have not mention to myself who the heated exclamatory is Hank?”
So after she had finish reading the poem she left the coffee house via sneaking out a nearby side doer ’cause she did not want to be revealed
Ones out of her church the one that was located in The Big Brown Mall between Direct Subs and The Make Your Own Sup Noodle And Robotic Hair Transplant Outlet Store, subsequently nestled in the not so anonymous suburb of Buffalo she noticed that she was being followed so she tuck off dawn an alleyway like a big old dog running after a rabbit
When she got to the end of the alleyway she was approached by her follower, a young woman who went by Kit, a member of her young adult group
She recognized her right away
They got it on with angry heated passion right their in the darkened alleyway
All they left behind was a big oily pool of sweat and the journal…

#42. Judy And The Journal, Part One: The PKO (Papaya Knock Out)

By: Devin Kira Murphy & Curtis Murphy

Judy was cleaning out her locker in the dressing room in the athletic section of the youth wing of the UU congregation nestled, between Direct Subs and The Make Your Own Sup Nodal And Robotic Hair Transplant Outlet Store in The Big Brown Mall, subsequently nestled in the not so anonymous, suburb of Buffalo, New York
Underneath the nostalgia-inducing pile of fishnet stockings and catnip, she found a curious item, ensnared in one of her many garish red wigs, which embodied the smell of papaya from the regrettable fruit scare instigated by the agitated intern minister and chef at Secluded Metropolitan UU Society
She opened the shiny gray duct tape journal to the first page to fined written in black permanent marker an obviously, definitely, totally, nonsensical had to be, absolutely, completely fictional story-poem written by two previous YRUU members
The story was titled “My Post-Gathering Emotions My Devoted” It went:
“Oh wherefore
Oh wherefore are I so saddened by her absence?
Oh how come the lack of those sleep-deprived nights is bothering me?
Oh for what reason does sleep cometh?
Oh I! Oh mine! Oh wherefore!,
Oh wherefore
Oh wherefore is she as endearing as a ruminant?
Oh why does she have to resemble my cousins domestic house-faul, Lancelot?
Oh Rudy! I am pining for you I can’t abide watching the sun waxeth 40 times and waneth 39 times before I stroketh you at a more feverish tempo then before (in a not too raunchy but still stimulating way)
Oh how come
Oh how come!
Oh how come
Oh how come
Oh how come!
Oh wherefore are you text messaging Hank?
You tramp-
I can’t abide another 39 waxings and 40 wanings till I see you again
…But not with Hank
And who in blimey is Hank?

P.S. I am bringing my stroking apparatus”
Judy was miffed
She sniffed again, the papaya-wig and famed into the duct tape in seam…