Tag Archives: Peterborough General Hospital

#33. Glenn In Hospital

By: Devin Kira Murphy

I know yesterday I lay on a hospital bed which was lumpy but, today I walk these streets with know clue of how I got here
How did I got on these windy streets of gold and copper pave?
How did I leave the hospital room of drab white?
Why are there maple syrup stands on every corner where the streets intersect?
Oh how I do love maple syrup and wish I did have money to purchase some
Oh how did I get on these windy streets of gold and copper pave and why am I smelling the sweet scent of coconut in the air?
Oh how did I get here?
Oh how did I get here?
Oh how did I hurt my head?
Oh I do love maple syrup
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah my head
Ah my head
Oh why is the bed so lumpy and the room so white?
Help, help, help, help…


#25. Glenn Falls Into A Disillusioned State Of Mined

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Glenn was in Peterborough attending the CUC’s Annual General Meeting as a delegate for his congregation
He was there voting on many CUC resolutions but,
But that was until the caffeine he had consumed to help him stay awake wore off, leaving him to fall into a disillusioned state of mind
He had needed the caffeine not just to help him function in an alert state at the CUC’s Annual General Meeting, but to stay awake at CanUUdle the CUC’s annual national youth conference witch he was attending in the evenings and at nighttime
The sudden lack of caffeine in his system caused him to start to hallucinate
He hallucinated that he was God and that he was able to change voting delegates’ votes with his godly powers
He even thought he was able to turn delegates in to talking cows and make them wear pink tutus with his godly powers
But Glenn had to be hauled out of the voting room wen we started yelling “I can make you all nude ‘cause I am God almighty!”
He was hold out to the places ware he was staying, the Peterborough church
When he got there he proceeded to tell all the other youth how much fun it was to be God and if he killed himself he could bring himself back to life
Wen others asked him who he could do this he said “because I am God almighty, YOU IDIOTS!”
That’s when things got worse for Glenn
He went to the church’s kitchen grabbed a knife and pointed it at himself and yelled “watch me kill myself!”
But before he could one of the adults who was acting as a youth advisor intervened and stopped Glenn from committing suicide
But that was not the end of Glenn’s troubles
You see as the advisor grabbed the knife from his hands he hit his head against the wall and fell in to a coma
Glenn was rushed to Peterborough General Hospital and to this day he has not regained consciousness

P.S. We all wish Glenn a speedy recovery