Tag Archives: Judy’s bady

#68. Real Ramshackle Artist From Africa

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Knock knock
Judy: Who’s there?
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Don’t you know how I am?
Judy: No! I definitely do not no who you are!
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Well I’m the one who has built all the artsy ramshackle homes in Africa
Judy: So what do you want with me?
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Well you’re going to write me my first master peas
Judy: Write you a master peas?
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Yes! One for me to claim fore my own!
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: So won’t you go get in my car!
Judy: No! No! No! No and no again!
Judy: Help!!!
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Get in to my car
Judy: I won’t you, you…
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: SHOT UP!!! You don’t won’t you’re neighbours to her you!
Judy: Help!!!
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Their you go you’re in my car
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Get out, NOW!!!
Judy: Where are you tracking me?
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Yes you are going to my room, the one with the 7th century carpet
Judy: OH KNOW!!! I have run out of ink
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: OH NO!!! You have run out of ink!
Judy: I will use the sole of my melting shoe to write the ransom not
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: No you won’t!
Judy: Oh my! I’m giving birth!?!
Ramshackle Artist from Africa: Ahhhhhh! This story is going nowhere!
Judy: WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!, and is that my baby drooling on a 7th century carpet

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#15. Ramshackle Artist From Africa

By: Devin Kira Murphy & Joel Fox

The lakes were freezing over and the fish were singing and the storks were cozy in their nests
A frog-legged vision flashed on the horizon
20 goslings where chattering their teeth, but I was not scared in fact I was jubilant
It was music to my ears
The beat was 1,2,1,3,1,2,1,3…
Slowly I opened my eyes
Bill was there in his chicken suit
He had come to bring me to the shack on wheels
And he had come with slops of pig, salamander and chive
We climbed in to the shack on wheels and only to find Judy inside mumbling the Hooters theme song
Then hell broke loose as the shack went in to high gear
It left behind two millimetres of tire for the little chickens in the church out back
Half way along the ride Bill turned his head to find not only Stephen, but Stephen and Albert following them in a glocktrucker
Wim-bam the shack on wheels had run out of gas
So it was to the escape boats
Sniff, sniff Bill looked at Judy and Judy looked at the lack of water on the ground
The magpies where lodged in the wooden frames
There were only 7 ways to get out of this alive and luckily Bill or Judy knew none of them
But they could still become an elephantfish if they…could only…
That’s when Judy ran out of ink
She was forced to use the sole of her melting shoe to write the ransom note
She then became witchy almost bitchy, and that’s when she gave birth
It had alien wings, a spare wig and it came with it’s own flirting utensils
At that moment Judy remembered the lake was frozen and as the ice began to crack, she fell in
Then that’s when Bill went home to his wife and mother of 4 weeks
The reindeer were getting closer as Bill put on and took off his socks
Just then the vision ended and as it did Judy got one last glance of her baby drooling on the 7th century carpet