Tag Archives: Judy

#80. Judy And The Journal, Part Five: The Journal Made It To Unicamp

By: Devin Kira Murphy

The journal made it to Unicamp
Well to this day we still don’t know how
Was it in Judy’s bag?
Or was it whisked in by telepathy powered shack blimp?
Or was it mashed by Frank’s bar hands into a bole of almond butter and banana?

The journal made it to Unicamp
It was red by everyone and I do mean everyone including Kit’s spirit during the astral projection workshop
And some naked youth at the clothing optional beach
Yes it was even red in one of the caves by Stephen and Albert

And then, “dos anyone now where the journal is?” said Sophy
Had we lost it last night wen Harriet showed up and started steeling all our marshmallows wile we sat around the campfire singing folk songs like Joni Mitchell’s The Circle Game?
Had we…

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#79. OWL Sex With Judy

By: Devin Kira Murphy

It was OWL sex with Judy time in the youth wing of the UU congregation nestled, between Direct Subs and The Make Your Own Sup Nodal And Robotic Hair Transplant Outlet Store in The Big Brown Mall, subsequently nestled in the not so anonymous, suburb of Buffalo, New York
The youth had been waiting for this for three years
The youth had been making jokes about having owl sex with Judy or was it jokes about having OWL, with Judy?
They wanted to learn all about how not to get sexually transmitted infections like chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital herpes and crabs
They also wanted to learn about the differences between sexual orientation and gender identity
It was OWL sex with Judy time…

#78. And They All Howled At The Moon

By: Devin Kira Murphy

All the Buffalo con goers had just gone to the workshop called “Learning About Shake Vehicles” which  featured the infamous, shack on wheels, shack on fines, shack lawn tractor, windup shack on wheels, shack zamboni and not to mention the newly constructed shack bicycle, and now it was time for the next item of the night which was to be presented by Judy Fanny Longtall seeing as it was hear creation/concept
It was to be the communal eating of the pinto bean popcorn, which was a newly engendered variety of popping corn, which contained a pinto bean in each kernel of corn which wen popped would change consistency to reassemble refried been
And all the con goers were to eat some of this popcorn with some salsa flavoured powder on top will watching a how-to movie entitled “How To Fold Laundry While Scuba-diving With The Queen Of England”
But before they could the power went out in the church
Luckily Judy remembered that it was a surprisingly hot winter night and that there was a vary bright full moon out
So she ushered everyone outside and they all howled at the moon

#77. They Think It Makes Her Look Like She Has No Style

By: Devin Kira Murphy

They can’t stand
To see her in
Her green suit
So they go
Squeamish!
The youth that is
They go
Squeamish!
When they see her in her lime green latex body suit
That is
Judy in her lime green latex body suit
They think it makes her look like
Like she has no style

They can’t endure
To notes her sporting
Her red wig
So they become
Agitated!
The teens you see
They become
Agitated!
When they do notes her sporting her long red woman’s wig
That is
Only Judy sporting her long red woman’s wig
They think it makes her look like
Like she has no style

They think it makes her look like she has no style

#76. I’m Judella

By: Devin Kira Murphy, Curtis Murphy & Joel Fox

I’m Judella
But you can call me Judy
That’s what she said to me
The next day I met her on the tractor
Going up the hill backwards
Yes backboards was the way I herd her speak
Guess I should’ve not played the “back words game” all night
All night I sat with Bill
We were eating six month old bagels and hommos
We were just trying to relive our time at “Danger Con”
Even at “Danger Con”, I never ever did anything like THIS!
I mean have nonsexual but still arousing fun in the woman’s washroom with only a sock poppet and Frosty The Snowperson’s cosine Crispy The Snowperson

#73. Can You Get To A Con?

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Can you get to a con while just riding on a fawn?
“No!” says Judy now a newbie youth advisor ‘cause you need to instead be a minivan rider
Can you get to a con faster then in 7 flat hours?
Not if it’s in QuOM or SLD ‘cause you might encounter showers
And yes you can get to a con before the ice breaker activities start!
Well that is if you leave from the very beginning like a speeding dart

#72. A Legend…

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Oh today,
A legend walked through the door of our youth room
Ok and she said
She said I’m the one you know not by pictures,
But by legendary stories
She said yeah you know me from that story dubbed,
The one dubbed “Go Judy Go!!!”, yeah, oh, oh, ok

Oh today,
A legend walked through the door of our youth room
Ok and she said
She said I know you are looking for youth advisors
And seeing as I’m
Seeing as I’m now old enough to be one, yeah 25 I won’t to be considered to be one fore you

Yeah today,
We had a legend walk in to our youth room
Our youth room

#71. I’m Sorry To Say That I Got It All Wrong

By: Devin Kira Murphy

I’m sorry to say that I got it all wrong
‘Cause in a poem that Judy was causing hardship for me to write, I said “go back to the crib in the cave you were born in”
Yeas that line was all wrong ‘cause it was all ‘bout Judy
And don’t we all know that she was born in a neon peach coloured Chevy car
But what ‘bout Fred?
Well he was born in a shed
A shed that was going down hill on four-post bed
A bed that was painted not a fire engine red, but a fire engine yellow

#70. Judy Is On The Toaster

By: Devin Kira Murphy, With Tittle By: Joel Fox

Judy did you us a branding iron on the toaster, my toaster?
And was it one with the image of you?
YES YOU DID!!!
So Judy you are on the toaster, my toaster!
Thous making it hard for me to ever forget you,
And yes it will last for a vary long time,
Seeing as I just bought it last week!
THANKS JUDY!!!
-Frank

#67. Judy Is A Fruit Loop

By: Curtis Murphy

Judy is a snooper
Judy is a drooper
Judy is a trooper
Judy likes her Fruit Loops with milk in the morning, and juice in the nighttime
Judy is a Fruit Loop up till that bastard Frank came along and ate her up, and left me barely a crumb
It is a stale crumb but I savour it
I also cherish its reward: the raw spot I have on my ass from carrying it around in my back pocket for so many years