Tag Archives: Harriet

#80. Judy And The Journal, Part Five: The Journal Made It To Unicamp

By: Devin Kira Murphy

The journal made it to Unicamp
Well to this day we still don’t know how
Was it in Judy’s bag?
Or was it whisked in by telepathy powered shack blimp?
Or was it mashed by Frank’s bar hands into a bole of almond butter and banana?

The journal made it to Unicamp
It was red by everyone and I do mean everyone including Kit’s spirit during the astral projection workshop
And some naked youth at the clothing optional beach
Yes it was even red in one of the caves by Stephen and Albert

And then, “dos anyone now where the journal is?” said Sophy
Had we lost it last night wen Harriet showed up and started steeling all our marshmallows wile we sat around the campfire singing folk songs like Joni Mitchell’s The Circle Game?
Had we…

#52. Zero O’clock

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Zero O’clock
Time for the press release
Hope they can handle the revealing
Their asking for the news
Why did Harriet fly into Judy’s yard?
How was Teena and Albert’s time seeing the gnomes?
Well Harriet was fallowing a homing signal
What homing signal?
Well I can’t say just yet ’cause it is a mater of national security
Ok on to how Teena and Albert liked seeing the gnomes
Teena liked the gnome with the peanut butter scented oil and the long Santa stile beard, best
What did Albert think of the gnomes?
Well I’m not sure, but we do know he was made to enlist in the privet nose flout players militia on the way back to Canada and has not been seen since
Who is the Hunk?
Who is the Hunk?…well that’s all for now
…GOTTA GO!

#45. Sorry I Couldn’t Make It, Judy

By: Joel Fox

Sorry I couldn’t make it, Judy
I wanted to be there
I wanted to eat burnt muffins on toast with you
I wanted to drink grilljuice floats
out of a sterilized rubber chicken with you
I wanted to smother you with soft, wet kisses
from the sterilized, grilljuiced rubber chicken
I wanted to get lost with you, Judy
lost inside that beautiful goose
that beautiful grilljuice goose that lives in your backyard
Yes, I am not talking about a rubber chicken anymore, Judy
I am talking about my Uncle’s pet goose,
Harriet
Yes, I am talking about my Uncle’s pet goose, Harriet
It flew into your yard last winter
and now lives happily,
feeding on gnardworms for nourishment
It likes the swampy nature of your backyard
and so do I
And so do the beazils…yeah – in my dreams
and I still dream, Judy
I still dream – about Beazils…and about you
Judy I’ll never forgot those times we had
in the refrigerator
But, oh, how I’ve rambled

#1. My After Con Feelings, My Love

By: Devin Kira Murphy & Joel Fox

Oh why
Oh why do I miss her so?
Oh why do I miss those sleepless nights?
Oh why am I falling asleep?
Oh me! Oh my! Oh why!
Oh why
Oh why is she friendly as a moose?
Why does she have to look like my uncle’s pet goose, Harriet?
Oh Judy!
I long for you
I can’t wait another 40 days and 39 nights to pet you more heavily then last time(the non-sexual-but-still-arousing kind)
Oh why
Oh why!
Oh why
Oh why
Oh why!
Oh why are you e-mailing Frank?
You bitch
I can’t wait to see you, my love
You are like a good book-
I can never get through you quick enough
You bitch-
You are always wasting my time!
I’ll see you in 39 nights and 40 days
…but not with Frank
And who the fuck is Frank?

P.S. I am bringing my petting utensils