Tag Archives: Frank

#80. Judy And The Journal, Part Five: The Journal Made It To Unicamp

By: Devin Kira Murphy

The journal made it to Unicamp
Well to this day we still don’t know how
Was it in Judy’s bag?
Or was it whisked in by telepathy powered shack blimp?
Or was it mashed by Frank’s bar hands into a bole of almond butter and banana?

The journal made it to Unicamp
It was red by everyone and I do mean everyone including Kit’s spirit during the astral projection workshop
And some naked youth at the clothing optional beach
Yes it was even red in one of the caves by Stephen and Albert

And then, “dos anyone now where the journal is?” said Sophy
Had we lost it last night wen Harriet showed up and started steeling all our marshmallows wile we sat around the campfire singing folk songs like Joni Mitchell’s The Circle Game?
Had we…

#75. You Say (Who The Hell Is Frank?)

By: Devin Kira Murphy

You say: “who the hell is Frank?”
Well I’ll just tell you that he is the one who gets me dawn in the evening, and the one who gets me up in the morning
And that he is not boring
‘Cause he is exited, but only wen he goes to get the best bread
Yeah he only goes to get the best bread when it is in read
Read paper bags marked with tags indicating that it is on sale for 3 dollars for 2 loaves at Mallar’s Gourmet Oven Cookery
You say: “who the hell is Frank?”
Well I’ll just tell you that he is the one who gets me dawn at twilight, and the one who gets me up at down
And that he is not gone
‘Cause he is so right hear with his laughter that gets me red in my face, just like the colour of my bed
My bed I got from Ted at Previously Used Beds, Bedding and Mattresses

#70. Judy Is On The Toaster

By: Devin Kira Murphy, With Tittle By: Joel Fox

Judy did you us a branding iron on the toaster, my toaster?
And was it one with the image of you?
YES YOU DID!!!
So Judy you are on the toaster, my toaster!
Thous making it hard for me to ever forget you,
And yes it will last for a vary long time,
Seeing as I just bought it last week!
THANKS JUDY!!!
-Frank

#67. Judy Is A Fruit Loop

By: Curtis Murphy

Judy is a snooper
Judy is a drooper
Judy is a trooper
Judy likes her Fruit Loops with milk in the morning, and juice in the nighttime
Judy is a Fruit Loop up till that bastard Frank came along and ate her up, and left me barely a crumb
It is a stale crumb but I savour it
I also cherish its reward: the raw spot I have on my ass from carrying it around in my back pocket for so many years

#58. Why Did You Send My Beans?

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Why did you send me beans?
Ok I did tell you I like honey-rusted soybeans
But what’s with jang-go-beans?
Yes that’s right jang-go-beans those extremely sawyer, jalapeno flavoured, gritty textured, pepper scented, bleach white coloured, rectangle shaped beans
Why did you send a 1000kg crate of them to me?
Oh and do you know who in the fabric of the cosmos is Frank?
-Klara

P.S. I do know what Frank looks like, but what I guess I’m asking is what is he all about?

#55. I Didn’t Get Enough

By: Devin Kira Murphy

YO JUDY!
It’s just I didn’t get enough
I did not get enough of your loving
I didn’t get enough the first time
The first time, the time with you and Frank
It’s just Judy I didn’t get enough
I did not get enough of your loving
The second time, the time you stopped at 5:16.02pm
I wanted more,
I wanted more the first time
I wanted more the second,
I wanted more the second time as well
So maybe you me and Frank we could have another love triangle!
So what do you say?
How’s you go get Frank and meet me at the corner of First and Brown Streets
We can do it there,
Or,
In my upstairs bathroom’s bathtub or,
In my main level washroom stall or,
Under my kitchen sink,
Or anywhere you and Frank want to do it
Yeah we can do it lost-in-the-wilderness style or commando style or lost in the woods style or even hungry monkey style
I just learnt hungry monkey style it’s way cool,
IT’S WAY COOL!
So what do you say?
Lets have another love triangle!?!
Come on Judy,
I haven’t gotten enough,
Yet that is…

#53. Woe Is Right

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Woe is right
Waw is right
Oh me! Oh My!
How thee love the smell of the Hunk’s sweater the one that I am a wearing today
Woe is right on my spicy fried tofu sunrise surprise
Waw is right in my hot and spicy goat cream cheesey power shake drink
Oh can you Judy squeeze out those coloury strips of glue that you’re accident put in my head,
There giving my a headache
And, again, Judy you still haven’t tolled me who the gash darn is Frank?

#38. When Frank First Saw Judy

By: Devin Kira Murphy

When Frank first saw Judy she was wearing only her birthday suit
When Frank first saw Judy she was running in the cold snow
When Frank first saw Judy she was having an insane laughing fit
When Frank first saw Judy she was wearing only her birthday suit
When Frank first saw Judy she was running in the cold snow
When Frank first saw Judy she was welcoming him to the Amherst con

#34. Judy Was Lost At Sea

By: Curtis Murphy

Judy was lost at sea
She went on an excursion to find herself, but instead she got lost
Lost at sea
Judy went overboard
She went overboard on the chocolate Snicker-snacks and those miniature candy bars
She got sick and slept all night long
The next day she got up and fell off the ship
It seemed hopeless until she was rescued by Stephen and Albert in the newly modified shack on fins
They plucked her from the icy waves and bore her south-east, to a tropical island paradise
They were greeted there by Frank and Glenn on their aquatic sea-bicycle built for two
Frank waved, and then pointed to a vessel on the horizon
Someone was coming…

#30. Frank’s Animal Side Takes Over

By: Joel Fox

“Arch sphinx!” whispered Frank
before breaking into a gallop on all fours
making even the diamond-backed,
breast-necked, coblet-finch pale in comparison
He honk-grunted as he ran
and ran, and ran, and ran…
would he ever come back for biscuits?
Yes, Frank was actually quite peckish
and he soon halted in his tracks
Was it the ear,
ear for dinner,
that caused the sudden change?
The pigs were howling
a dribble began dribbling down its chin
he began to hear music
a tremble
he wasn’t feeling normal feelings
he wasn’t thinking normal thoughts
He felt the sudden urge to leap boundwards into the sky…
The doctors dragged a kicking, flailing madman into the “Asylum”…
Frank woke up
He was a jungle
He was a jungle!
What luck!
What joy!
“What a fantasy…”
an under-the-weather Frank scribbled in his journal