Tag Archives: Clowie

#40. Misinformation

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Dear Clowie
We got some misinformation
We wear toled the con was in Utica, wen infant it was being held in Halifax
We thought it was kind of strange because wasn’t Utica band from holding cons for a will after the random three in the morning redecorating of their sanctuary with mas amounts of red pant and fabric which was don using caleche tec -neak at their last con
But of to Utica we went anyway
We had to vans full of people
We wear excited and raring to go, it had been far to long sins the last con
Wen we got to the border and poled up to the border garred’s booth, we wear asked to pullover
The border garred expand that he was just going to search us all
After the border garred had searched us and had fund nothing, we wear allowed to craws the border
All the way to Utica we wear unable to find any eatery that was open,
So we got hungry vary hungry
Wen we pulled up to the church, which we had some problems finding, we fund their was nothing going on and the hole places was dark,
So we called the Toronto congregation on advisor Tavish’s cell, ‘cause they always no what is going on
But we got no response,
So we waited in the Utica church parking-lot till morning,
Wen we got a call from a Halifax youth named Aaron telling us that someone must have given us some misinformation and we were supposed to be in Halifax, ‘cause the con was being held their
So we then tolled Aaron that it was to late for us to be able to get to the con before it ended and we went and got hotel rooms Us 12 youth and the two advisors we then had one great day and night in a 5 stare hotel, with in room masseurs and masseuses, in room hot-tubs, in room movies and in room delivered food
Then we went home
Your great con friend Klara

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#37. Advisor Jack

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Yes advisor Jack I said I could be hear at noon, so here I am
Advisor Jack, what, did you expect me to be late or something?
Ok, I did have to sneak out of art class, but it’s ok because my teacher, Miss Kay, doesn’t really tolerate really strangely symbolistic acrylic paintings
Ok, I will be skipping English, but it’s ok because my teacher Mr.Tee discourages his students from writing crazy free-form poetry
Ok, advisor Jack, isn’t it more important to have fun and learn thing about you and the world in a safe environment, so can we leave now!
So advisor Jack can we leave now for the Schenectady con?
Yes, advisor Jack I can see all my fellow youth realized the benefits of skipping school to
So advisor Jack can we leave now for the Schenectady con?
So is advisor Jack going to tack Clowie and all her fellow youth group friends to the Schenectady con…?

#36. Everything’s Changing

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Everything’s Changing
Frank now with Betty
Everything’s Changing
Clowie’s now in YG
Everything’s Changing
Judy’s going to the theologian school
Everything’s Changing
Judy’s YG friends there going to the theologian school
Everything’s Changing
Bill had an accident
Everything’s Changing
The shack it crashed
Everything’s Changing
Bill he lost his chicken suit
Everything’s Changing
The shack on wheels it had to be white-washed
Everything’s Changing
Teena’s now dating Albert
Everything’s Changing
Their seeing the gnomes
Everything’s Changing
Seeing gnomes but not with Stephen
Everything’s Changing
Everything’s Changing, everything’s Changing, everything’s, changing, changing changing!!!
Everything’s Changing
Ah, ah, ahhhhhhhh!!!
Everything’s Changing…!!!

#32. Clowie’s Youth Con Breakfast Experience

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Clowie went and grabbed the big box of Frosted Oy-O’s and a bole
She pored some of the Oy-O’s in her bole, then she added some Dave’s Marshmallow Bits, some soy milk and a spoon
Now she was of to fined a seat, but there was nowhere for her to sit
So Clowie went and sat on a cross-dresser’s lap!
The cross-dresser was taken aback, he lurch sending Clowie’s bole of cereal fling across the tables
It landed on the head of a Rochester adviser named Ray just as he was grabbing a bagel
Instinctively Ray throw the bagel at the direction the cereal had come from, he missed Clowie and the cross-dresser
Instead he hit Klara, Clowie’s con friend in the face as she was enjoying a bagel and cream cheese
Yes that’s when all hell broke loos, with food fling everywhere
The food fight went on for a good will till one of the local Montreal advisors, a woman named Gen came in the room and distinctively yelled “STOP IT!!!”
Clowie never did get to have breakfast

#13. The Day Fred Met Judy

By: Devin Kira Murphy & Joel Fox

The day Judy’s sister ate a bar of shampoo soap was the day Fred met Judy
Feed me, feed me was all she thought,
Feed me, feed me was all she felt…was he listening…to her hunger?
“We saved you some grub-chops”
was all she wanted to hear right now
But something was happening in her brain…
She didn’t know any Freds
…It was Frank!
It was Frank that had soiled her days
of desperation and despair
with his beauty and roller-jousting and after apple-camel
Frog-like wings and jitteriness was her soul and her heart and her lungs

#4. Judy Was A Poser

By: Devin Kira Murphy & Joel Fox

Judy was a poser
She never really listened to me
But maybe that was because she worked nights at the Black Tavern
She worked the poles
That night…that night I paid her the right to see her sister Clowie
She had 6-legs
She invited me to have nachos
She didn’t tell me they contained rare bird, which was actually an outdated brand name of rubber tires
She tried to feed me Wally the whining wallaby which was really Wally the whining wallaby wannabe
She tried to wash it down with grill juice
She tried to wash her hand down with Javex which spilled all over her giving her a foul-smelling aroma which reminded me of the time Julie gave me tongue…tongue for dinner
And now I was having dinner again, only this time it was with her younger sister and not her annoying twin sister who was now a walking Y-chromosome ever since the accident caused by taking medical advice from Anne Middleton, a revered soufflé artist
Beets
I smell beets