#72. A Legend…

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Oh today,
A legend walked through the door of our youth room
Ok and she said
She said I’m the one you know not by pictures,
But by legendary stories
She said yeah you know me from that story dubbed,
The one dubbed “Go Judy Go!!!”, yeah, oh, oh, ok

Oh today,
A legend walked through the door of our youth room
Ok and she said
She said I know you are looking for youth advisors
And seeing as I’m
Seeing as I’m now old enough to be one, yeah 25 I won’t to be considered to be one fore you

Yeah today,
We had a legend walk in to our youth room
Our youth room

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#71. I’m Sorry To Say That I Got It All Wrong

By: Devin Kira Murphy

I’m sorry to say that I got it all wrong
‘Cause in a poem that Judy was causing hardship for me to write, I said “go back to the crib in the cave you were born in”
Yeas that line was all wrong ‘cause it was all ‘bout Judy
And don’t we all know that she was born in a neon peach coloured Chevy car
But what ‘bout Fred?
Well he was born in a shed
A shed that was going down hill on four-post bed
A bed that was painted not a fire engine red, but a fire engine yellow

#70. Judy Is On The Toaster

By: Devin Kira Murphy, With Tittle By: Joel Fox

Judy did you us a branding iron on the toaster, my toaster?
And was it one with the image of you?
YES YOU DID!!!
So Judy you are on the toaster, my toaster!
Thous making it hard for me to ever forget you,
And yes it will last for a vary long time,
Seeing as I just bought it last week!
THANKS JUDY!!!
-Frank

#69. Saturday

By: Devin Kira Murphy

It was Saturday,
In faked it was the Saturday after Judy’s return home from Boston after her successful finishing of exams
It was Saturday,
In faked it was the Saturday when she was to finely throw out that rotten spam casserole, the one that was still in her frig
It was kind of strange for Judy to have a spam casserole in her frig seeing as she’s vegetarian
It was Saturday,
In faked it was the Saturday when Judy would start her day of as always, but for one difference
The difference was to be that she would have some white wine with her cereal
Cereal, Judy always starts her day of with cereal, “Jane Fox’s Foxy Homemade Granola Mix” to be precise (well ever sins she gave up on Fruit Loops)
It was Saturday,
It was the Saturday when she would get drunk on white wine and then…
Well then she would have her old high school friends Samantha and Erin over for a good time
Well it was Saturday again,
Well it was to be the Saturday after the Saturday when Judy’s high school friends Samantha and Erin came over to her home
In faked it was to be the Saturday when Judy would wake up in her bed clinging lovingly to her high school friends Samantha and Erin, with the realization that they had never left…

#68. Real Ramshackle Artist From Africa

By: Devin Kira Murphy

Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Knock knock
Judy: Who’s there?
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Don’t you know how I am?
Judy: No! I definitely do not no who you are!
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Well I’m the one who has built all the artsy ramshackle homes in Africa
Judy: So what do you want with me?
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Well you’re going to write me my first master peas
Judy: Write you a master peas?
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Yes! One for me to claim fore my own!
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: So won’t you go get in my car!
Judy: No! No! No! No and no again!
Judy: Help!!!
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Get in to my car
Judy: I won’t you, you…
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: SHOT UP!!! You don’t won’t you’re neighbours to her you!
Judy: Help!!!
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Their you go you’re in my car
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Get out, NOW!!!
Judy: Where are you tracking me?
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: Yes you are going to my room, the one with the 7th century carpet
Judy: OH KNOW!!! I have run out of ink
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: OH NO!!! You have run out of ink!
Judy: I will use the sole of my melting shoe to write the ransom not
Ramshackle Artist From Africa: No you won’t!
Judy: Oh my! I’m giving birth!?!
Ramshackle Artist from Africa: Ahhhhhh! This story is going nowhere!
Judy: WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!, and is that my baby drooling on a 7th century carpet

#67. Judy Is A Fruit Loop

By: Curtis Murphy

Judy is a snooper
Judy is a drooper
Judy is a trooper
Judy likes her Fruit Loops with milk in the morning, and juice in the nighttime
Judy is a Fruit Loop up till that bastard Frank came along and ate her up, and left me barely a crumb
It is a stale crumb but I savour it
I also cherish its reward: the raw spot I have on my ass from carrying it around in my back pocket for so many years

#66. I’m Still Wormy For You Judy

By: Joel Fox

Judy, my princess,
my darling,
my love,
I’ve been wanting you to know…
In case I’ve forgotten to…
Have I told you?…
Well…
I’ve got worms, Judy!
I’VE GOT WORMS!
-gummy worms, that is.
Lots and LOTS of gummy worms
-and I want to share them with YOU!
I want you to get all wormy with me, Judy!
I want you to get all wormy and squirmy with me, Judy!
And we’ll have a yummy gummy good time!

#65. It’s All In My Head

By: Joel Fox
Judy, we rode ponies together
in the surf
in the sunshine
-but it was all in my head

Judy, we turned tables together
and robbed cradles together
-but it was all in my head

Judy, we went to see
the world’s largest
candy apple,
and you turned to me
and smiled
and licked your licorice lips…
-but it was alllll in my head

#64. Too Many Stray Sheep On The Road

By: Devin Kira Murphy & Joel Fox

Judy, this isn’t working for me…
We need more hay
The pig’s in the barrel and the dog’s out with Darrell and who the hell is Darrell, anyway?
Wasn’t his name Fred?
Or was it Fredly?-the one who opened a reverse- osmosis pottery barn, and illegally served Bin, the shepherd from way out on Goth Street, East Side?
The East Side was where they had too many stray sheep on the road!
Stray Sheep was a new brand name of tiers, as seen on Judging Judy, The Albert Show, featuring the omnipresent societal outcasts, Stephen and Bill Watterington, and Blowing Bubbles with Marcel Craig/Marcel Creig’s Blowing Bobbles Hour/Bubble Up Hour/Fine Dining In A Bubble/Bubbling For Tongue For Dinner and Channel 6 News
Marcel Craig had abandoned his yarn newerg prang-prang-prang-prang-prang-prang-prang-prang! and slithered around the bend of life and into someone he never ever knew was there and then went into a vivid picture of someone he thought was there, but wasn’t Prang, prang!
Orangutang-tang!

Pssst! Editor here-these are all the improvements the “authors” repeatedly nixed

-It was “North Street” –Not “Gorth Street”
-Bin had actually been the host of the well-loved “Popcorn Hour” aired every day of the week inclooding Monday which was it’s day off for rest a PRANG PRANG PRANG PRANG PRANG PRANG PRANG PRANG PRANG PRANG PRANG PRANG PRANG!

P.S. Prang is my mistres and erotic Kitchen-Aide comfort -and she smalls of like beets

#63. Thanks Judy

By: Devin Kira Murphy

When Judy we used the three pronged screwdriver weren’t you the new driver?
On the bus we took to go see Molly
Molly who made me kiss Betty under the holly
Ooh that was folly ’cause the kiss caused us to fall in a trolley
The trolley it tuck us straight into the middle of the nearby street
Yes and automobiles they sure gave us quite a beat, ing
Ing bing ding dong bang, bang we rolled away barley escaping death
Only to be saved by a girl named Beth
Oh Beth she helped us up only for us to realize we couldn’t see all that clear
Thank goodness we didn’t fall of the near by peer
Pear we did the best we could to find our way back to Molly’s, but…
But some how we ended up back on this bus
So Judy you where our bus driver weren’t you!
And now you are our bus driver again
Thanks Judy