By: Devin Kira Murphy & Curtis Murphy
Judy was cleaning out her locker in the dressing room in the athletic section of the youth wing of the UU congregation nestled, between Direct Subs and The Make Your Own Sup Nodal And Robotic Hair Transplant Outlet Store in The Big Brown Mall, subsequently nestled in the not so anonymous, suburb of Buffalo, New York
Underneath the nostalgia-inducing pile of fishnet stockings and catnip, she found a curious item, ensnared in one of her many garish red wigs, which embodied the smell of papaya from the regrettable fruit scare instigated by the agitated intern minister and chef at Secluded Metropolitan UU Society
She opened the shiny gray duct tape journal to the first page to fined written in black permanent marker an obviously, definitely, totally, nonsensical had to be, absolutely, completely fictional story-poem written by two previous YRUU members
The story was titled “My Post-Gathering Emotions My Devoted” It went:
“Oh wherefore
Oh wherefore are I so saddened by her absence?
Oh how come the lack of those sleep-deprived nights is bothering me?
Oh for what reason does sleep cometh?
Oh I! Oh mine! Oh wherefore!,
Oh wherefore
Oh wherefore is she as endearing as a ruminant?
Oh why does she have to resemble my cousins domestic house-faul, Lancelot?
Oh Rudy! I am pining for you I can’t abide watching the sun waxeth 40 times and waneth 39 times before I stroketh you at a more feverish tempo then before (in a not too raunchy but still stimulating way)
Oh how come
Oh how come!
Oh how come
Oh how come
Oh how come!
Oh wherefore are you text messaging Hank?
You tramp-
I can’t abide another 39 waxings and 40 wanings till I see you again
…But not with Hank
And who in blimey is Hank?
P.S. I am bringing my stroking apparatus”
Judy was miffed
She sniffed again, the papaya-wig and famed into the duct tape in seam…
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