#80. Judy And The Journal, Part Five The Journal Made It To Unicamp

By: Devin Murphy

The journal made it to Unicamp
Well to this day we still don’t know how
Was it in Judy’s bag?
Or was it whisked in by telepathy powered shack blimp?
Or was it mashed by Frank’s bar hands into a bole of almond butter and banana?

The journal made it to Unicamp
It was red by everyone and I do mean everyone including Kit’s spirit during the astral projection workshop
And some naked youth at the clothing optional beach
Yes it was even red in one of the caves by Stephen and Albert

And then, “dos anyone now where the journal is?” said Sophy
Had we lost it last night wen Harriet showed up and started steeling all our marshmallows wile we sat around the campfire singing folk songs like Joni Mitchell’s The Circle Game?
Had we…

#79. OWL Sex With Judy

By: Devin Murphy

It was OWL sex with Judy time in the youth wing of the UU congregation nestled, between Direct Subs and The Make Your Own Sup Nodal And Robotic Hair Transplant Outlet Store in The Big Brown Mall, subsequently nestled in the not so anonymous, suburb or Buffalo, New York
The youth had been waiting for this for three years
The youth had been making jokes about having owl sex with Judy or was it jokes about having OWL, with Judy?
They wanted to learn all about how not to get sexually transmitted infections like chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital herpes and crabs
They also wanted to learn about the differences between sexual orientation and gender identity
It was OWL sex with Judy time…

#78. And They All Howled At The Moon

By: Devin Murphy

All the Buffalo con glowers had just gone to the workshop called “Learning About Shake vehicle” which feathered the infamous, shack on wheels, shack on fines, shack lawn tractor, windup shack on wheels, shack zamboni and not to mention the newly constructed shack bicycle, and now it was time for the next item of the night which was to be presented by Judy Fanny Longtall seeing as it was hear creation/concept
It was to be the communal eating of the pinto bean popcorn, which was a newly engendered variety of popping corn, which contained a pinto bean in each kernel of corn which wen popped would change consistency to reassemble refried been
And all the con goers were to eat some of this pop corn with some salsa flavoured powder on top will watching a how to movie entitled “How To Fold Laundry Will Scuba-diving With The Queen Of England”
But before they could the power went out in the church
Luckily Judy remembered that it was a surprisingly hot winter night and that their was a vary bright full moon out
So she ushered everyone outside and they all howled at the moon

#77. They Think It Makes Her Look Like She Has No Style

By: Devin Murphy

They can’t stand
To see her in
Her green suit
So they go
Squeamish!
The youth that is
They go
Squeamish!
When they see her in her lime green latex body suit
That is
Judy in her lime green latex body suit
They think it makes her look like
Like she has no style

They can’t endure
To notes her sporting
Her red wig
So they become
Agitated!
The teens you see
They become
Agitated!
When they do notes her sporting her long red woman’s wig
That is
Only Judy sporting her long red woman’s wig
They think it makes her look like
Like she has no style

They think it makes her look like she has no style

#76. I’m Judella

By: Devin Murphy, Curtis Murphy & Joel Fox

I’m Judella
But you can call me Judy
That’s what she said to me
The next day I met her on the tractor
Going up the hill backwards
Yes backboards was the way I herd her speak
Guess I should’ve not played the “back words game” all night
All night I sat with Bill
We were eating six month old bagels and hommos
We were just trying to relive our time at “Danger Con”
Even at “Danger Con”, I never ever did anything like THIS!
I mean have nonsexual but still arousing fun in the woman’s washroom with only a sock poppet and Frosty The Snowman’s cosine Crispy The Snowman

#75. You Say (Who The Hell Is Frank?)

By: Devin Murphy

You say: “who the hell is Frank?”
Well I’ll just tell you that he is the one who gets me dawn in the evening, and the one who gets me up in the morning
And that he is not boring
‘Cause he is exited, but only wen we goes to get the best bread
Yeah he only goes to get the best bread when it is in red
Red paper bags marked with tags indicating that it is on sale for 3 dollars for 2 loaf at Mallar’s Gourmet Oven Cookery
You say: “who the hell is Frank?”
Well I’ll just tell you that he is the one who gets me dawn at twilight, and the one who gets me up at down
And that he is not gone
‘Cause he is so right hear with his laughter that gets me red in my face, just like the colour of my bed
My bed I got from Ted at Previously Used Beds, Bedding and Mattresses

#74. 9 On Friday…

By: Devin Murphy

9 on Friday and all in a minivan
Man ant it all so vary much grand
Well that’s ’till the engine blows smoke

The engine’s blowin’ smoke so we’re pullin’ over
Everyone get out I’m callin’ a tow truck
Thank goodness this minivan is AAA roadside insured

We’ll still arrive at the con on time?
Hell no more like 6 in the mornin’
‘Cause we’re waiting for contact with a rental

Oh my rental has arrived, but something’s wrong
They have given us a Geo Metro car
We’re 7 and Geo Metro hold max 5

So I guess we’re just screwed aren’t we?
No sometimes the shack on wheels sows up
It always gets you to cons on time

And Stephen and Albert bring it to us
Yes there here to save the day again
We’ll get to the con all tied up

Tied up in hay from farmer O’Haybeard’s field
Or maybe with magic lickerish and movie certificates
Who knows how Stephen and Albert do it?

But at least we got to the con
Well with gingerbread slippers on both our feet
And hot papers growin’ out of our ears

#73. Can You Get To A Con?

By: Devin Murphy

Can you get to a con while just riding on a fawn?
“No!” says Judy now a newbie youth advisor ‘cause you need to instead be a minivan rider
Can you get to a con faster then in 7 flat hours?
Not if it’s in QuOM or SLD ‘cause you might encounter showers
And yes you can get to a con before the ice breaker activities start!
Well that is if you leave from the very beginning like a speeding dart

#72. A Legend…

By: Devin Murphy

Oh today,
A legend walked through the door of our youth room
Ok and she said
She said I’m the one you know not by pictures,
But by legendary stories
She said yeah you know me from that story dubbed,
The one dubbed “Go Judy Go!!!”, yeah, oh, oh, ok

Oh today,
A legend walked through the door of our youth room
Ok and she said
She said I know you are looking for youth advisors
And seeing as I’m
Seeing as I’m now old enough to be one, yeah 25 I won’t to be considered to be one fore you

Yeah today,
We had a legend walk in to our youth room
Our youth room

#71. I’m Sorry To Say That I Got It All Wrong

By: Devin Murphy

I’m sorry to say that I got it all wrong
‘Cause in a poem that Judy was causing hardship for me to write, I said “go back to the crib in the cave you were born in”
Yeas that line was all wrong ‘cause it was all ‘bout Judy
And don’t we all know that she was born in a neon peach coloured Chevy car
But what ‘bout Fred?
Well he was born in a shed
A shed that was going down hill on four-post bed
A bed that was painted not a fire engine red, but a fire engine yellow